


I Love You

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003), Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: April Showers Challenge 2011
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-02-16
Updated: 2003-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-18 01:29:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels





	I Love You

   
I told my mother about you, you know. Ran up to her after the first time I saw you, really saw you, and told her that I had finally found the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The fact that I'm engaged didn't bother me. Still doesn't. Mama was right; Arwen was beyond me. I think I knew that back then. It was simply infatuation, my love. No one comes before you. No one.  
   
My mother smiled down on me that day, as she has been ever since the artisans made her monument. She accepted you. She wanted me to be happy. She gave her Hope to the Dunedain, as she had given her husband and both her brothers. She had kept nothing for herself, but I know that you would have given her hope, my love. She would have loved you as much as she loved me.  
   
But now, not. Is she there with you, my love? Are you even now comparing notes on my annoying habits? I can tell you, my love, that her list is ever longer than yours. The only thing I ever did to annoy you was doubt you. But I put her through forty years of pain.  
   
I love you. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you, as a toddler cheerfully running through the Citadel. You were so cute, my love. Do you remember that you used to lisp?  
   
So beautiful. And when I saw you in the Hall of Men, I knew who you were immediatly. Those poutful lips, solid cheeks. Little amused smile that broke my heart. How could I not know you? And when you tilted your head and grinned, I wanted to ravish you on the spot. Would things have been better if I had? Would you have accepted me then had I whispered it to you in a moment of passion, if I had called out "Steward!" as your tongue skillfully worshipped me? Or would you have even then thrown me away?  
   
You turned your back on me and wouldn't stop glowering at me for days. I wanted to throttle the elvish upstart, if it makes you feel any better. He had no right to speak to you that way. You're mine, beloved. Mine. And no one can ever come between us.  
   
Not even death.  
   
My life is dripping out of my body now and I'm watching it with detached interest. I can't live without you, you see. You body lies next to me, swiftly losing its heat. Rigor has come and gone, and there's only a short amount of time if I want to die in your arms. Only a short amount of time.  
   
Even in death you are still beautiful. Beauty like yours should simply not be allowed. Kings shouldn't be able to be seduced by mere looks. Kings are supposed to be stronger than that. But this king isn't. This king wants nothing more than to wake up next to you, pleasantly sore from the happenings of the night before. This king wants you back in his arms. Now.  
   
Why did we waste so much time, beloved? Each moment was a gift, a precious gift. And we wasted so many of them. Fighting. Screaming. Hating.  
   
But, beloved, you can't hate unless you love. And I love you.  
   
When I kiss you, I want your lips to be warm. I don't want them to be stained with blood. I don't want the sight of your bruised face to disgust me so deeply it might have been instinctive. I just want to be able to love you.  
   
Always.  
   
Oh, beloved. I feel so weak without you. You were always my strong one, so solid. So pure. But always, always, so tempted. I didn't mean to draw on you, my love. I didn't. I would blame the Ring, but I can't. I acted in anger and I am truly sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I betrayed your trust, your love. I'm sorry I made you cry.  
   
I miss you already. I miss your smile, I miss your laugh. I miss the way your face would brighten when you saw me. I miss everything that truly made up *you*. I even miss the way you would never trust Legolas. Oh, and you had reason to, my love. You had reason. I don't blame you, never, my love. Never.  
   
I love you.  
   
I promised you Gondor will not fall and it shall not. Legolas shall take my message to Galadriel who will call to my Rangers. Halbarad is my second cousin, grandson of my grandfather's twin. He has a legitimate claim. Twins always were a murky matter in the matter of succession and Halbarad could never refuse me. He'll take the kingship. He's a just man, beloved. Gondor shall not fall. I won't let it.  
   
Mama always told me to never reach for the stars; you could never catch even one of them. But I did catch a star, beloved. I caught you, and you loved me. If only for a little while.  
   
But we'll be together forever.  
   
Colors are beginning to become muted, beloved, and it's getting hard for me to make even your shape out. You're stiff in my arms and your neck is cold against my lips, but I shall die like this, in an eternal embrace. Because even then I can never get enough of you. I need you more than I need myself. I need you more than life itself.  
   
I love you. Forever.  
   
I love you.  



End file.
